Sex Therapy – Are You Seeking Peace and Clarity Around Sex or Your Sexuality and Seeking a Sex Therapist?
Are you questioning your sexuality, sexual preference(s), sexual orientation, or sexual behavior? Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable in your own skin and wish you could feel more accepting and confident about your feelings, desires, and values? Perhaps you feel embarrassment or shame over being curious about or enjoying sex that is kinky or otherwise taboo. Or maybe you question your “assigned” gender and feel like you are living in the wrong body. Do you often feel like you are suppressing an important and intrinsic part of yourself and wonder what healthy sexual expression could look and feel like for you? Are you struggling in your intimate relationship or finding it difficult to meaningfully connect with friends and family and share who you really are? Are you sex worker/escort and wanting specialized, informed, and non-judgmental support? Do you wish you could truly love yourself and feel loved and accepted by others for all that you are?
Struggling with feelings and questions around sexuality, sexual preference, sexual expression, sexual exploration, and gender identity can be a confusing, frustrating, and isolating experience. Perhaps you have always identified yourself as heterosexual, but now find yourself attracted to someone of the same sex. Or maybe you are clear about your sexual orientation, but feel ashamed about the fetishes that turn you on, especially if your desires go against values that were instilled in you during your upbringing. Maybe you are struggling with gender identity questions and/or live in fear of physical, social, or emotional harm, which happens frequently to those in the transgender community. When these and other issues related to sex and gender arise, they can impact relationships and cause internalized judgment. You may be keeping secrets or turning to dangerous substances, harmful behaviors, or other potentially unhealthy methods of coping. If you feel like you are leading an inauthentic or double life, it is not uncommon to be consumed with an uneasiness that prevents you from embracing life and who you truly are.
Countless People Struggle with Gender, Sexuality, and Sex Issues
Society has historically told us that sex should happen between a married man and woman in a bedroom. And, while that tradition holds true for many, it is no longer the norm, which is a great thing! When it comes to sex and gender, there is such a richness and diversity reflected in the spectrum. In the LGBTQIA community, there are now over 25 different pronouns to identify oneself with. And, as for sexual behavior, there are countless desires and fetishes that more and more people are engaging in, which is reflected in the clubs and communities that are forming to support the out-of-the-bedroom-box sex that many people are gravitating towards.
While this diversity and richness is expanding and exciting, sex and gender issues still cause many people to question their values and fear judgment or shame. While we are making strides as a culture, we are far from being open and accepting of everyone’s orientation and sexual desires. And, often in dealing with these issues and questions, we are our own worst critics.
The good news is that there is help and hope for acceptance, self-love, and healthier relationships. If you are keeping secrets, suffering from low self-esteem, and feeling isolated and confused, a skilled and compassionate sex therapist can help you find relief and figure out who you are and what you want.
You Can Connect to Who You Really Are with the Help of a Sex Therapist
Sex therapy can be extremely effective in helping you identify, explore, and connect to who you really are. Throughout sessions, you will be able to share any and all thoughts and feelings in an accepting and safe environment. As a sex therapist that respects the wide spectrum of sexual expression, I offer those I work with a non-judgmental and compassionate space to explore all issues. I welcome diversity in my practice, and I firmly believe that—regardless of sexual orientation and preferences, history, personality, profession, and relationship goals—we are all inherently healthy and healing is always possible.
Using the Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) model, we will work toward acceptance, self-love, and making friends with all parts of yourself. Once you accept who you are, you can live in alignment with that identity, which builds confidence. I am uncommonly sex-positive, and there is nothing I have not heard or would feel uncomfortable discussing. In talking openly about your questions and desires, you can begin to let go of shame and recognize that you are not alone. You can learn that you are not only normal, but that you are better than normal.
In sessions, we can also work on healthy expression of yourself to others. You can begin to better understand and then communicate healthy boundaries and expectations. Rejection by some is inevitable, but you can learn effective ways to manage judgmental people. Rather than being ruled by fear, you can step into your personal power and begin connecting with the people in your life in more authentic and meaningful ways.
With a willingness to engage in self-exploration, the right approach, and a trusting therapeutic relationship, you can move out of fear and into a place of empowerment. It is possible to find answers to your questions, accept and love yourself for all who you are and to experience nourishing sexuality. Rather than being secretive or draining, sex can become a fun, playful celebration.
You still may have questions or concerns about sex therapy…
I have secrets that I have never been able to tell anyone. And, I am not sure that I could–even to a sex therapist.
As a gay male who has been sexually active in many communities and has had countless conversations about sex and gender, I cannot imagine that you would tell me anything that would shock or disappoint me. And, so much relief can come from finally speaking your truth out loud to another person. It can be healing to tell your story, and it is the first step toward leading a more authentic, fulfilling life. That said, I will meet you were you are emotionally. You can set the pace of the sessions and do not have to share any details until you feel comfortable and ready to.
I am worried that I will feel judged or shamed.
As an open minded, gay-friendly therapist, I create a safe space where you can share any and everything openly and without fear of judgment. And, sessions are completely confidential.
I have heard that therapy can cost a lot of time and money.
I invite you to consider therapy as an important investment in yourself and your wellbeing. Imagine how good it would feel to finally and fully love and accept yourself. Through sessions, you can work on improving relationships, building confidence, and feeling empowered. Through doing this work, you can have richer life experiences. And, therapy does not have to take forever. You get out of it what you put into it. Many clients begin feeling differently after just a few sessions.
from the blog
Your sexuality can be a source of empowerment and vitality. You do not have to continue to navigate questions, uncertainty, and feelings of unease on your own. I am a sex therapist in Denver, Colorado. I invite you to email me to discuss how we could best work together and answer any questions you have about my counseling services, or log in to schedule an appointment.
-Scott Church, MA, LPC